Wednesday, October 1, 2008


Taking Lily's hand and Jon led her out to the deserted courtyard where just the click of her heels could be heard over the music. The twinkle of the fairy lights above them and the fading summer scent of jasmine set the mood accompanied by the slow melodic music.

She felt her stomach do a small flip flop when the tips of his fingers brushed against the small of her back teasing her spine. He edged her in close to him beginning to sway them in time to the slow beat of the music. She swallowed hard and met dark blue eyes that would easily undress her if they tried but they never left her face.

I don't wanna hurt nobody
Don't wanna make nobody cry
I don't wanna do wrong, I don't wanna do wrong
I don't wanna tell no lies
Girl, I'm lovin' you, lovin' you against my will
Lovin' you, lovin' you against my will

She closed her eyes, the music beginning to take over the moment. Ironically the words explained just how she felt right at that moment. Her body trembled in his arms threatening to give way, give in to need to be close to him. She moved one hand to his shoulder and the other in his hand and he squeezed it tightly rocking her in time with the beat.

One part of her wanted to relent, throw her arms around him and let it go and the other wanted to pull away and draw the wall up she'd become so accustomed to doing with men in the past. What was she afraid of here? Of getting hurt? No, she was afraid above all else that she'd actually fall for him.

I don't wanna hear the phone ring
Don't wanna hear your voice on the line
I don't wanna come to you, I don't wanna come to you
I don't wanna give in this time
Girl, I'm lovin' you, lovin' you against my will

He drew her in closer, pressing his cheek against hers swaying in time to the gentle twang of the music. The sweet summer scent of coconuts and mangoes, the one he was beginning to associate with her washed over him like a summer rainstorm. She was timeless and exquisite, but what if he couldn't do her justice? She deserved that and so much more. His hand clasped around hers tighter and pulled her in, the buckle of his belt pressing against her stomach.

Well your love is like a deep dark river
Pullin' me out to sea
The harder I try to resist you
The weaker I seem to be

Her nipples tightened and ached through the flimsy material of her dress as she imagined for a split second what they'd feel like scraping against the bed of fur she could just see poking at the top of the v in his shirt. She was fighting a battle she desperately was losing and the subtle way his hand splayed further across her back wasn't helping.

He seemed so gentle, loving and interested in her just for her with no ulterior motive that had plagued her so often in the past. How was this possible or was she being naive and he'd turn out the same as all the rest? She cursed inwardly drawn in by the scent of man and spice when her cheek found his shoulder, the soft fibres of the dinner jacket grazing her skin. She let her hand fall from his and slide around the back of his waist under his jacket along with her other. Too late now.

I don't wanna turn down your side street
I don't wanna pull in your drive
I don't wanna come to you, I don't wanna come to you
I don't wanna give in this time
Girl, I'm lovin' you, lovin' you against my will

Jon tucked his arms around her waist and closed his eyes resting his chin on her head. The attraction between them drew him in like a magnet but still he could feel the distance she was still fighting to put between them. He wouldn't push her, hell even he didn't know if he was ready for this. He'd been so selfish in his marriage and when he'd realized it, it was too late. He couldn't do that to her.

Lily wasn't like most women he met in his life. She wouldn't know the meaning of avarice or clingy, hell she was so self assured, so independent. God he just loved that in a woman. She was gorgeous too, but in that unaware way, she just didn't get that she was so beautiful. He was just a regular guy from Jersey, but after years in the business he appreciated that innocence.

Well your love is like a deep dark river
Pullin' me out to sea
The harder I try to resist you
The weaker I seem to be

His breath tickled her hair and the steady thump of his heartbeat drummed against her ear. The warmth of his body nestled so close to hers sent tingles down her spine. This simplistic intimacy that had been long been absent from Lily's life now stood with his arms wrapped around her. Her fist tightened fighting the internal battle she knew she was beginning to lose.

What could be the worst that could happen? She deserved this didn't she? Her heart jumped into her throat when his hands slid further down her back resting at the top of the curve of her ass. Oh god Oh god, the wall was fading and just one more move and she'd give in to him. She wanted to, god how much she wanted to but her stubborn streak was pulling her back.

I don't wanna feel your heartbeat
I don't wanna taste your kiss
I don't wanna call your name, I don't wanna call your name
I don't wanna want you like this
Girl, I'm lovin' you, lovin' you against my will
Lovin' you, lovin' you against my will

"Lily" Jon whispered, almost fighting for breath with her arms vicing so tightly around him.

She pulled away embarrassed but he stopped her "It's ok" he said, her blue eyes melting into his very soul, filled with a sadness he longed to take away. His hand reached out and brushed her cheek but this time held it there. Scraping the pad of his thumb along her cheek bone he inched closer looking for any signs to stop but they never came.

Her legs started to quiver underneath her at the touch of his other hand that cupped her cheek. Her heart was aching with the need for him to touch her, her soul screamed yes but her head screamed no. God, just one kiss couldn't hurt could it?

His blue eyes deadlocked on hers as he moved forward, the music and the courtyard suddenly fading away leaving her standing in front of the man just moments away from kissing her. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore.

The walls crumbled in her heart, and washed away when she closed her eyes waiting for it to come. The soft feel of his lips surprised her at first before she melted forward in to arms, his tongue teased the upper curve of her lip but didn't move causing her eyes to open. A slight smirk curved at the corners of his mouth, and she stifled a small groan feeling her nipples tighten even more.

"Jon…." came the only word she could manage.

He placed his finger against her lips "Shhhh" before pressing his to hers. Fire exploded in her blood igniting the one thing she ignored for so long, lust and desire for a man beyond the bedroom.

His tongue plunged into her mouth, tangled with hers they danced a dance of what could be to come if she let it. Her head was dizzy with the indescribable need to take him right there and then. Her hands lifted to his cheeks with the faint feel of stubble tickling her palms.

He tasted like sweet dark honey, the kind that left you craving for more. Finally they broke away, pressing his forehead against hers locked still in each other's embrace unable to move.

Her chest felt weak, the wind had been sucked right out of her lungs and if she moved suddenly she would be on the floor.
His hands smoothed down her arms and rubbed gently, his eyes still firmly locked to her pink swollen lips that had his groin aching for more of her. So many things he wanted to say to her, but aware that too much too soon was never a good thing. He remained silent just keeping the mood alive with light touches along her arms till his hands laced with hers.

"Dinner" he motioned back towards the restaurant but waited for her to take the cue keeping the moment as long as he could.

She nodded and he moved his feet to walk but she stopped him "Wait" she said. She lifted her hands to wind around his neck and arched her body into him. The fire had been lit, and she was afraid it would never go out "Thank you" she whispered tilting upwards to meet him in another kiss, this one softer than the first.

The smile reached his eyes "Your most very welcome Lily St James" he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and kissed her on the nose. He clasped her hand in his and led her back into the restaurant keeping her close to him until they reached their table.

She slid back into her seat and picked the menu, her skin was hot and her face felt flushed. Pull yourself together, Jesus it was just a kiss. It's not like you haven't had one before. Not one of those kisses.

She tried to focus on the menu but her mind was still back out in the courtyard, the menu items were a blur in front of her. Here it comes, the St James debrief. What are you doing? He's going to expect you to go home with him now. Why was that so bad? She wanted to, come on. Her body careened every time he touched her, so just imagine what... stop it, don't go there. He wasn't asking for anything here, maybe she deserved to have some fun? What could possibly be bad about that?

**Gary Allan. Loving You Against My Will.